Ten days with the Buddha 1/n

I am excited. I can’t wait to switch my phone off and stop living other people's expectations. Human interactions are so exhausting I want to just disappear and not return. I am so freaking tired of socialising, it drains the life out of me. Tired of being available to everyone all the time. The plan is to spend 10 days in silence - no noise, no talking, no eye contact, just listening to myself and nature, in calm and isolation. But for someone who listens to music for 2-3 hours a day, I am wondering if I can pull it off without it for ten days. If I ever crave for music, I could just sing a song and scare people around me. But will I remember any lyrics? I don’t know.

Beena di has been persuading me to take up the ten day Vipassana course for almost 5 years now. I have always found excuses to not go - I am such a busy person, I cannot survive without communicating with people, I cannot live without non-veg food, I cannot switch my phone off, the business will suffer in my absence, how will I live without my cats and the world will probably end without me. But the time has come. Submit the application and get ready to detach.

My plan was very simple, it was to start the detachment process way ahead of the course. Detach in phases and scale everything down that you think you cannot survive without. I start keeping my mobile internet off. I don’t use Facebook, and I log onto Insta once in a while so that’s a plus - I am not addicted to social media. If you are a SM addict, all the best to you. I start switching my phone off for 1-2 hours a day to see how it feels to not be disturbed. I don’t hang around in my office to see how things work in my absence. I hire and replace myself with a person in the business. I delegate, and I am ready.

I am thinking, the ten days at Dhamma Paphulla will be an amazing vacay. However, I have read that the course is not a walk in the park, it’s supposedly tough. This will be a test of my will power. For a weak-willed person like me, I am very confident that I will not finish the course and run away from there. But I am determined. Well, I don’t know what I am but I am confused for sure.

I call Beena di a day before my course starts and she gives me the best piece of advice to crack vipassana. Says don’t worry that you are going for 10 days; take it one day at a time, one session at a time and one breath at a time. You will not realise how the days will fly. Says fill your heart with love and gratitude. I say, I am planning to go with an open mind with a lot of determination.

The next day, I go with all the determination and self control to challenge myself. All the self control goes for a toss when I see a local restaurant selling mudde and chicken, and I eat non-veg just before reaching there. So much for my deadly will power! #facepalm

To be continued…

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